Although I’ve been a fan of teh Penny Arcadez for years, I’ve never made it to their annual gaming convention. As if that wasn’t enough, this was to be my first convention as a member of the gaming press. I had a Media Badge and everything. I had all sorts of interviews set up with PR reps and developers. What if they didn’t like me? Or worse, what if they didn’t like my suit?

I couldn’t make it out for the start of the convention on Friday, but as Saturday morning rolled around I fueled up on an over-caffeinated Wired energy drink (triple the safe dosage of caffeine!!!) and a couple of protein bars as I set out on a gloriously gray, overcast Seattle day.

After overcoming my complete confusion about how to work the elevator buttons at the Sheraton Hotel, I managed to retrieve my Media Pass and made it into the convention center. Walking in, there were giant screens and loud music everywhere, and the convention was still a half an hour from starting. It was not quite the sensory overload that everyone told me it would be, but everywhere I looked there was something to see, whether it was a demo station playing Gears of War 3 or some excessively hot PR girl.

Very quickly lines started forming for the big titles. If there was a line offering free gold and a line for Portal 2, Portal 2′s line would still be longer. You science buffs out there might not realize it, but if the lines for Portal 2 and the line for Duke Nuke’em Forever were to ever meet, the resulting explosion would give birth to a whole new universe.

The PR people were super cool. I know that’s their job, but they were nice and polite even when I continued to die repeatedly. I haven’t yet mastered the ability to play the game while they are giving me their spiel. They would patiently explain the game’s mechanics while I fell down into holes over and over or got hit in the head because I forgot I was supposed to block.

I got a huge kick out of talking with the indie developers. Forget the big guys’ huge booths and million dollar budgets. Give me the folks from Retrograde, Puzzlebots, and Retro City Rampage (as well as a bunch of others) any day of the week. Their creativity and passion were more impressive than anything else I saw at the show. It was cool to get their perspective on stuff like Piracy (bad) and Zombie Piracy (good).

Even more important than the games, though, was the swag. Swag is king at any convention. Everyone wants it and they are willing to go to all sorts of extremes to get it. I have no idea what I am going to do with all these buttons and pins, all I know is they are free and I want them. You learn very quickly the value of having either a bag or a friend with a bag you could throw your $#%& in.

All the games were nice and all, but the true highlight of the show was when the escalator stopped for a second and 200 nerds froze in a panic like they were trapped. It took a good 5 seconds before someone yelled out, “Now they’re stairs.” It was like I was living in one of those jokes from the Reader’s Digest (which still exists right?). The most uncomfortable moment wasn’t the variety of people that needed some sort of pants support (i.e. a belt or rainbow suspenders) that kept flashing the Mario crack. No, not even sweaty nerd butt could compete with the terror of watching some sweaty forty something year old guy, begging some 18 year old cosplayer for a hug. It’s a gaming convention, not a strip club buddy. I kept expecting Chris Hansen to jump out and yell, “Gotcha sucka!” Which he’s probably never done in his life, but would be amazing none the less.

By the end of my 2-day adventure at PAX I was tired, sore, my feet hurt, and I had drank way too many energy drinks. Some of my notes look like they were written by an 84 year old man because I was shaking so much from overdosing on caffeine and drinking a 5-Hour Energy.

In the end, it was a grand and glorious experience and I can’t wait for next year.

P.S. To everyone that was in the morning queue on Sunday: A Green Lantern would decimate a Jedi.

Tags: Captain America, PAX, PAX '10

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