WingDamage.com

It is not as if I am against the pimping of rides. I am not pimping averse. In fact I would go so far as to say that I enjoy the occasional ride pimpage. I have watched the MTV show quite a few times. I think I even have an Xzibit album around somewhere. So keep in mind that I am not anti-ride pimpery (or is it pimpary). I really did want to enjoy Pimp My Ride. However, I can not get over the fact that the game itself is dumb. I scoured the intertrons to try to find a better descriptor, but there is nothing that sums up the entire Pimp My Ride experience as well as admitting that the game is just dumb.

To top off all the dumbery, the ways in which you can pimp the cars are boring. Rather than giving you a huge pool of parts, from which you could mix and match and create your own ideas, you are limited to the few big items that the game gives you. I think people are a lot more willing to invest time and effort into a game if they are allowed to tap into their own creativity. Look at something like “Little Big Planet” or “Spore”, and how excited people get when a game gives them the tools to create. Pimp My Ride just doesn’t allow the player to really get in there and be creative. Without this draw, there is no real motivation to explore the options the game does offer.

Here is the way the game works; The player has to pay for what little options are available. To do this you have to earn money by either driving around the city or by performing in various mini games. When you are driving around the city, you get money by smashing into other cars. This makes about as much sense as smashing your face into a wall in the hopes that money will fall out so that you can pay for your plastic surgery. I could ignore the stupidity of this if the crashes were cool. They are not. I knocked over a shampoo bottle this morning and the resulting crash was easily 10 times more exciting than anything in Pimp My Ride.

I do have to mention one of the terrible mini games if only because I find it terrifying. The game is called “Ghost Ride Da Whip”, which apparently means dance alongside your car as it slowly rolls by a crowd of people, who then applaud and give you money. People, if you are walking down the street and you see someone dancing alongside their car, DO NOT APPLAUD. DO NOT GIVE THEM MONEY. RUN!!! Run as far and as fast as you can. Who knows what kind of dark magic that person had to conjure up to get a ghost to drive their whip whilst they dance?

In all seriousness, this game is just dumb. The driving is boring, the physics are horrible, the graphics are bland, and the game is just not fun. Even if you are a fan of the show and you sleep in X to the Z pajamas, Don’t Buy this Game. I give it my lowest score possible 1 french guy posing as Captain America. The only fun anyone has ever had with Pimp My Ride was in tricking their friends into trying it (Sorry Jonah).