As part of the Play For Japan campaign, Twisted Pixel has teamed up with Microsoft to auction off a Comic Jumper themed Xbox 360 with 100% of the sale going towards the Play For Japan fund and the American Red Cross.

This particular unit, which you can bid on right now, was part of Microsoft’s permanent collection of customized game hardware.

To sweeten the deal, it also comes with a token for every XBLA title published by Microsoft Game Studios that is still currently available.
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For this review, please imagine me hunkered over, holding my back with one hand while propping myself up with a cane with the other. My trousers are held up with suspenders, my plaid shirt is tapered, and my face wears a constant scowl. Got all that in mind there? Ready? Ok, good. Ahem.

In MY day, games were hard as hell, and we liked ‘em that way! Didn’t need no too-tour-ree-alls, or yer fancy shmancy fast time situations or whatever ya have. Ya hit start at’n the title screen, ya played the game, and ya got yer keester whipped. And that was just fine! … … … AN’ ANOTHER THING! There ‘as no ten minute cuttin’ scenes or surround sound dij’tal Dolby an’ all that nonsense. Only had there 256 colors, at best, and we LOVED it! Why in my day, yadda yadda yadda… I think you get he point.

So many games these days are too complex, too stuffy, and frankly too easy. And I’m from the late NES era. Just imagine what the arcade era thinks! Ahh, but thankfully, before I really do turn into that old man and make my grandchild hate visiting me, there’s Super Meat Boy.

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If you listen to the Barrel Roll! podcast, then you know I’m the type to knock down a cinematic, goppy, story-driven, fully orchestrated game in favor of a simple, arcade-style, jump-on-in style game. So it might surprise you to learn that, well… I’ve never much cared for Space Invaders! And this is true for the vast majority of shoot-em-ups.

I’ve just never had the interest and patience to develop skill in them, and outside of a handful of very simple shmups like B-Wings and Volley Fire, I’ve hardly given them the time of day. Of course, Space Invaders is the simplest of all shmups, but it’s so primordial. Being born in 1983, I am not a true child of the arcades - I got into gaming at the tail-end of the NES era. To really get into Space Invaders, I would need it to evolve.

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Crackdown 2 is one of the most brutal punishments one can inflict on a critic. There is nothing to say about Crackdown 2. At best, you can spin a handful of disappointments into a competent, but bland review. Once the review is over, that same critic will then place Crackdown 2 on a shelf, where it will sit for months. Later, he will realize it’s utter worthlessness, and eventually trade it in to some form of used game service. Its worth will be approximately seven dollars, and that man will look at himself and wonder, “Did this game really deserve this kind of time and effort?”

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If there were 12 step programs available for gamerscore-aholics, I would have to go to meetings every week and drink terrible coffee, all so I could listen to people talk about trading in Bioshock to get their hands on Avatar: The Last Airbender. It is a horrible, consuming addiction. I find myself playing games on systems other than the 360 and in the back of my mind I keep thinking, “I could be getting Achievements!” This even happens when I am playing games that I really enjoy. “Man, this Shadow of the Colossus is amazing, but I could go play Cars: Mater-National and pick up some achievements.” I know that I have a horrible addiction.

I love Achievements. I love the little bloop blip sound that pops up every time you get a new one. I love checking to make sure that I have more points than my friends. I just love Achievements.

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